The Ersatz Elevator

                                          Series of Unfortunate Events

                                                  The Ersatz Elevator

     The Baudelaire orphans are going to there next guardian which is Mr. and Mrs. squalor when they reached the place Mr. Poe dropped them off and when they walked in. They also had a huge way to go up they lived on the eighty-fourth floor and was also very very dark. there were no working elevators. When they reached the room Mr. Squalor (the owner) greeted them and said his name was jerome. His wife was Esme squalor who dresses very weirdly and didn't matter to her what she liked just about what was in of out. When they finally got to there room there were many bags of clothes from Esme and they were in clothes that were very uncomfortable and they were going to be wearing them for as long as they were with Esme. Esme mentioned that Gunther was going to be the auctioneer in the auction that only had in things in it. Jerome took them to a sea food restaurant at the docks and took them there very often. They all loved the place, when they came back to the apartments the door man with sleeves solong that his hands didn't show opened the door and met Gunther who was Count Olaf which Esme and Jerome denied it all and didn't believe them. They were so scared because they knew that something bad always happens to there guardian when Olaf comes. Very often Jerome took them to the sea cafe and they talked so much and the children started to like Jerome very much but not Esme, all she did was buy them uncomfortable ugly clothes. They would return to 667 Dark ave. On gloomy days they would go to the beach like they did at briny beach when they got the terrible news that there parents had died. The children constantly worried about there friends the Quagmire triplets and wondered where Olaf had taken them. They thought they could be near now that Olaf was there. The last words that they herd them say was them yell out V.F.D! They wondered what that meant. Even though the children were always so exhausted from climbing the stairs every time up and down they had so much to think about and couldn't sleep. The next day Klaus realized where the Quagmire triplets were, in the elevator shaft. That's why the elevators never worked and they didn't try to fix them. Violet instantly had the idea to tie many things together like extension cords, scarfs, ribbons, and ropes together. They wondered how far down it was so they threw the rope down and the rope was long enough so it made a clinking sound they started to climb down the shaft like a mountain climber would. When they reached the bottom they were scared it took more than 3 hours to get to the bottom. At the bottom was a cage that looked like it was hundreds of years old. To there surprise they saw Duncan and Isabella Quagmire trembling in it. The Quagmires couldn't believe it they thought that they were dreaming. When they realized it was really them they said that Olaf was planning on putting the Quagmires in an auction idem and sneaking them out of town. Olaf was waiting for them to become of age and then still there fortune and kill them. They couldn't get them out of the cage but were planning on getting the idem that they were going to be hidden in and save them. The Baudelaire's had to climb all the way back up the long rope and up the stairs. That night they guessed what idem they were in. Idem after idem they didn't think that they could fit in any of the things and then #14 was a enormous globe #25 was a rare piano and #48 was a huge statue of a scarlet fish. Then #50 came and it was a huge box with a stamp on it that said V.F.D they knew it was it. Then Esme talked to them before they got up the stairs and she said that Gunther is really Olaf in disguise and they said they knew that and that the Quagmires were in the elevator shaft. She said that she knew they were surprised. She was surprised that they had figured it out and she said that at the auction tomorrow that Gunther would be arrested and set the Quagmires free. Esme told the children to follow her and they did. They went to bed and when they woke up Esme didn't have any anxiousness in her face which was weird. They told her that they hated to walk down the stairs and pushed the non-working elevator button and it opened she pushed them all down the elevator shaft. They stopped falling and were not injured a net had caught them. Esme yelled down to them and said that she was Olaf's girlfriend and Jerome was just a hired man. They thought for hours and hours and Sunny said she would climb up with her teeth and she did. Sunny got the rope that they used before and they climbed down to the to where the Quagmires were and escaped. When they go to the auction and Mr. Poe was there, idem after idem they waited for #50 V.F.D. They asked Jerome to bid on it and he got it. The crate was full of doily. After the auction Olaf, Esme, and his theater troop escaped. with the huge scarlet fish statue which contained the Quagmires.

I like this book very much. When i was typing i made a lot of mistakes in it and had to erase a lot on took me very long. I was surprised how much there was. I think that there are many many thrilling mysteries in this book that i like this was one of my favorite books of the whole series.

The Austere Academy

                                           Series of Unfortunate Events

                                      The Austere Academy

   Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were being drove to there next guardian which wasn't a person but a boarding school. When they arrived Mr. Poe dropped them off and they had a tour guide to show them around and the school had amazing dormitories, marvelous classes, and even an arcade. Then it went bad and the tour guide said since they were orphans and did not pay for the school they would be staying in a shack known as the orphan shack. Not only that but they would not be able to use the arcade and go in the dormitories. What they would do is go to school go to the orphan shack and go to school everyday. When they reached the principles office he told them that every day they would be going to his violin recital everyday and if they were late at all they would have to eat candy until they threw up of course the principle was the one playing the violin. when they went to the orphan shack finally something good happened they met more orphans. It was a boy and girl who were twins and there names were Duncan and Isabella Quagmire and they talked and it turned out that there parents also died in a fire and they also had a huge fortune just like the Baudelaire orphans but they didn't only lose there parents but also there brother Quigly and they were triplets. The shack was disgusting it had snapping crabs on the ground and fungus dripping from the ceiling. When they woke up it was there first day of school and when they went to English it was impossible they had poems and book after book to read and there teacher expected them to do it all but sunny who was to young to even talk. When English ended science began and again was impossible. Also history was hard and math was harder than any math they have ever seen.when they got to PE it happened the teacher coach Genghis was Olaf who was wearing a turban and high sneakers to hide his unobrow and tattoo. He mad them run laps every day all day. When they got home or at least the shack they had to do there home work right away go to the violin recital and everyone was seated and quiet and one kid walked in late and was forced to eat the candy. When the recital was done they went back and did more homework which was very strange because the orphans were very smart and had a huge library in there old house and read a lot. They stayed up late doing there homework. When they were awake they didn't have enough sleep at all and again had very hard classes and when they were done went to the principles office and told them about Olaf and when to go ask him. When they got there they said to take off his turban and sneaker. He said that it was against his religion to take off his turban and his feet smelled and it was embarrassing. So they thought that it wasn't him. They had to do there homework and then went to the recital and when to do there homework and when they finished they went to bed. They were doing horrible in school and they were going to fail school and have to be held back. They did not want that to happen so they could get out of there as fast as they could. They had to do better in school so they had to stay up later and started to fail PE because they were exhausted and couldn't run the laps in the right amount of time. They were so tired one day that they fell asleep and missed the violin recital and had to eat the candy until they threw up. They were feeling horrible. When finals came they had to stay up all night to study and didn't sleep a wink. When they went to school they passed all the tests and even the fitness test Olaf was so mad he slipped and reviled his true identity and started to run and his turban and sneakers fell of revealing everything and they chased him but on his way a black car pulled up and he jumped in but not only that but he also dragged the Quagmire triplets with him and took them. There the Baudelaire orphans were standing crying there only friend just kidnapped. They were with Mr. Poe again ready to leave the school and go with there next guardian.

I think this was a very good story but also a very sad one. It just seems like there lives are getting worse and worse every guardian they go with all it brings is misery. I think they probably feel like where ever they go they will bring misfortune to anyone who is involved with them. They probably feel that at first it is looking up but then Olaf comes and wrecks it all.

The Miserable Mill

                                       Series of Unfortunate Events
                                    The Miserable Mill

While the Baudelaire orphans are on there way to there next guardian on a train they were very sad. This was because every guardian they were with they would die because of the nasty Count Olaf. They were told that there next guardian was a guy named Charlie and they would be working in a lumber mill with a bunch of men. When they got there it was a huge place. When they reached the door they knocked and a man opened the door, he asked if they were the Baudelaire orphans. He took them to a room with a bunch of bunk beds were they and all the other men would be sleeping. They were  took to Charlies office were he was sitting in his chair with a big smoke cloud was over his face from a cigarette. He didn't say much only that they would work every day in the lumber mill and get no special treatment because they were children. They work shifts were over and they went to there room where all the gross smelling frighting men were eating a casserole. They were invited to eat and when they did the casserole was disgusting. The next morning they had to work and they had a terrible sleep. In the middle of there jobs the supervisor was there and of course it was Count Olaf. At the end of there shift they went to go tell Charlie and when they did he didn't believe them at all. He sent them back to there room were again they had bad casserole. The next day during there job Klaus was walking and Olaf tripped him. When he got up `his glasses were broken. Olaf escorted him to they eye Doctor in Paltryville. He was gone all day Violet was worried. At dinner he finally returned and he didn't eat. Violet didn't know what was wrong because he wouldn't talk to her. The next day yet again Olaf tripped Klaus and broke his glasses. He escorted him to the Doctor again and he didn't return until dinner and again they had bad casserole. Each day was coming a routine, they would get up work Klaus would brake his glasses and go to the eye doctor, come back at the end of the day and come back at dinner and eat bad casserole. One night Violet woke up in the middle of the night because she herd a noise from the factory. When she got there Klaus was working the machine and Olaf and Dr. Orwl were standing there. There was Charlie on the machine about to be killed. Violet yelled at Klaus to stop but he didn't. Olaf said that Klaus was hypnotised And gave them a riddle. Violet started to cry and yelled at Klaus but he would not stop. She thought about the riddle and realized the word. Then she yelled INORDINATE. Then Klaus snapped out of it and and pushed charlie out of the way. Olaf was off in a second and Charlie yelled at them and said he didn't want them and the police came and Mr. Poe once again took them to his house and they had to wait to go to guardian to guardian to guardian until Violet was of age to have the fortune.

The Wide Window

                            Series of Unfortunate Events
                                         The Wide Window

The Baudelaire orphans are going to there next guardian on a fairy wondering if its a boy of a girl if its nice. When they reach the house its all hanging over a Cliff accept for the porch when they knock on the door a frail elder woman cracks the door open and and asks if they are the orphans and let them in. The house looks like it is completely made of wood. She takes them to there room and shows them there beds that each had a toy chest at the end of it with one toy in them. As she finishes dinner she them to come in and feeds them but its cold soup because she is to scared to use the stove. She told them that she was there Aunt Josephine. She is afraid to turn on the stove because it might blow up. She also it afraid to use the refrigerator and use the glass door knob because the refrigerator might fall on her and the door knob might brake into a thousand pieces and get into her eye.She was also a grammar teacher and got mad at any improper grammar She tells them about the lake and to never go swimming in it especially after eating because the leeches can eat any one in seconds. She starts to cry saying that that is how she lost her husband Ike. When they all go out to shop they run into a man with an eye patch and a peg leg of course its Count Olaf. He says that he is a captain and he and Josephine start to flirt with each other. Olaf goes back to there house and Josephine sends them out. When they get back the enormous window and it is broken with a note next to it they read it and there are many grammar mistakes they put them into a puzzle and it spells curdle cave. They realize that she is in curdle cave. So when they try to leave there is a hurricane and the house starts to fall apart. The stove turns on and explodes then the refrigerator almost falls on them and when they gets to the door the door knob explodes in to a million pieces and they get out the whole house falls into the lake. They get a sail boat and sail off but they didn't know how to use a sail boat so it was difficult. When they got to curdle cave Aunt Josephine was there and she asked where the food was . They didn't understand she said they were going to live there. They forced her to get in the boat and she did. Half way through they found that she had a banana peel and the leeches started to come. They started eating the boat and Olaf showed up in a motor boat and said to get in and they can all live a happy life. The children knew that he was lieing but they had to get on land so they got in and when Aunt Josephine was getting in he moved the boat away and she fell in the water. Then she died. As they were going back to shore a police boat found them and arrested. While they were waiting to go with there next guardian they were in formed that Count Olaf had escaped and was on the loose.
    

The Reptile Room

                                         Series of Unfortunate Events
                                       The Reptile Room

   After Olaf escaped from arrest the Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent with there new guardian Uncle Monty. To the children Uncle Monty seemed a little strange. Uncle Monty had a room that had hundreds and hundreds of reptile some normal some deformed and some they didn't no what they were. Uncle Monty was planning on going on a expedition to Africa with the children to announce his new discovery of the super poisonous deadly viper. He was trying to play a joke on them to let the viper go and scare them but the viper is completely harmless. When there was a knock on the door Monty opened it and it was his new assistant but he didn't no that his new assistant was count Olaf. The kids knew at once just from his eyes. They were scared and told Monty but he didn't believe them and he ask his assistant still he said no and showed him his ankle there was no tattoo but they knew he was in theater and he had makeup on it. Time and time again but they could catch them. They knew that they and Monty would be leaving and finally get a way from Olaf the next morning they had found Monty dead. It had looked like a snake had bitten him. The super poisonous deadly viper's cage was open and the police just guessed that it had bitten him. The children continuously said that the viper was harmless and Olaf had killed him but the police did not believe them at all until they herd a scream. It was Sunny and she was playing with the super poisonous deadly viper and the police believed them and in a flash Olaf was gone and the children once again had to go with Mr. Poe and wait to go with there next guardian.

                              

The Bad Beginning

                                 Series of Unfortunate Events   
                                                      The Bad Beginning

   The series of unfortunate events is a series of books about three children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who's parents died in a house fire while they were at briny beach. The story begins at briny beach while violet is throwing rocks Klaus is reading and Sunny is biting on a shell when a mysterious figure in the fog approaches them. It had a square shaped head and looked scary. As the figure gets closer Violet is getting ready to throw the rock in her hand at it, until she realizes its Mr. Poe who the children knew from dinner party and he was a banker. As Mr. Poe reached them he had very bad news, there parents have died in a fire and they would be living with Mr. Poe and his family for a while. As the Baudelaire orphans lived with Mr. Poe they slept and cried all day and even though Sunny was to young to understand she still seemed different. When Mr.Poe finally found a place for them to live which was with there distant cousin, Count Olaf. When they got to there new home it looked old, dirty, and as if its never been cleaned. He had a unobrow and a tattoo of an eye on his ankle. When Mr. Poe left he took them to his room it was one room with one bed. Everyday they would have a list of chores to do while count  Olaf was out with his theater troop, the chores took all day and they were exhausted every night. The next morning they had to do there chores and make dinner for him and his theater troop. His house didn't have any ingredients or cook books. They went next door to Justice srouses home where she had cook books and she took them grocery shopping. When Olaf and his troop got home they were drunk. Klaus made Olaf made and  Olaf slapped him. They went to there room and slept on the ground as they did every night. The next morning Olaf had an idea to have a play that would make him marry Violet and get the Baudelaire fortune. Olaf took Sunny and put her in a cage and hung her over a tower. He tells Violet that unless she marries him he will drop Sunny. When he has a play justice strouse is a judge who will marry them and she doesn't know it is official when Violet signs the paper Klaus is trying to get Sunny out of the tower when he dose he runs. Olaf tells everybody they are the witnesses. At that time Violet announces that she signed with her left hand which isn't legally her hand. Olaf presses the button and the cage falls down and Sunny isn't in it, all the lights go out and nobody can see, Violet knows where the light switch is so she trys to get there and she turns on the lights. Olaf and his troop are gone. Justice stouse says that she wants to adopt the orphans but the parents wanted them to go with family and they go back to Mr. Poes where the book ends.